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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Addams have the late man arrested? He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday."

"Sometimes I drink to cure my malaise. If I get drunk this Friday because I am bummed about the end of the world, am I getting sauced because of Mayan-aise?"

"What do Hurricane Irene and Kim Kardashian have in common? They blow the whole east coast and there's videos online."

"The most embarrassing thing for a kangaroo is accidently hopping into another kangaroo's pouch who then hops into a 3rd kangaroo's pouch"

"Why can't redheads get drunk? Because they only drink Ginger Ale."

"Q. What are 2 girl chickens that fall in love? A. Lesbi-hens"

"Your wife and your lawyer are drowning. You have a choice to make: Lunch or the movies?"

"How stupid of the elevator manufacturers they have buttons for the floor I am already on *I will show myself out now"

"What's a Cuban's favorite song? Row row row your boat Over to Key West Scarily scarily scarily scarily Avoid the INS"

"How does a man on a moon get his haircut? Eclipse it."