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Joke of the Day

"Did you know if you beat up a monk then he's no longer vegetarian? He becomes a *sore-sage*."

"What is the best way to hunt bear? With your clothes off"

"Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don't you marry her? Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient."

"How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch? The screen stays black when you check the time."

"October's cool because you can buy 60 Snickers, 48 beers, a hockey mask, chainsaw, 30 leaf bags and the cashier won't even acknowledge it."

"Relationships are like Algebra... You look at your X and wonder Y."

"Someone with a girl friend should write this in their Valentines Day card I was going to buy you a car, but I knew you'd be disappointed if I didn't give you the D."

"I found a website with guaranteed real virgins [NSFW] [www.9gag.com](http://9gag.com)"

"Why did the computer crash? It had a bad driver"

"My wise grandfather once told me, ""The small things in life are often the most beautiful."" Guess that explains my midget fetish."