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Joke of the Day

"Why did the computer crash? It had a bad driver"

"Remember to check on your elderly neighbors to see if they have anything worth stealing."

"Did you hear about the straight white male viscount who ruled with an iron fist over one field? He was an oppressive shitlord."

"What does a Hot Pepper and a Prostitute have in common? Your dick burns like hell after you stick it in. Side Note: I just realized how much I love prostitute jokes."

"I babysat for the first time and it was just non-stop screaming. Next time I'll look before I lie down on the couch."

"A magician walks down the street and turns into a bar. Voila!"

"All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger."

"What do you call a wannabe model? A poser!"

"What do you call the security at a Samsung store? Guardians of the Galaxy, or firefighters."

"Alfred: *placing pancakes in the shape of the Bat Signal* Here are your pancakes, Master W- Bruce: They're Batcakes Alfred. Say ""Batcakes!"""