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Joke of the Day

"What do I know about dwarves? Very little."

"Coffee is a miracle. Perhaps the only miracle. Does that sound crazy? I've had a lot of the miracle this morning. My eyes are shaking."

"Women like you are hard to find.. My ex wanted to know if still thought of her. Quite often I said. ""Women like you are hard to find. Most of you are in state hospitals."""

"Why is it hard to hold a speech at a nudist convention? It does not help to imagine people in their underwear."

"Hot singles in your area are looking for an air conditioned indoor court to practice on before their match."

"Anyone have any jokes about Rats? Need some good ones!"

"So, today I woke up and asked my UK counterpart... ""Did you have eggs and bacon with your Brexit this morning?"""

"The best advice my parents ever gave me was not to push too hard because that's how Elvis died."

"My downstairs neighbor was yelling and banging on the ceiling until 3 AM Did that bother you? Not much. I was up til about the same time practicing my trumpet."

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead."