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Joke of the Day

"What does it mean when a doctor has both hands on your shoulders? The Prostate exam isn't going he way you expected"

"I wish there was a job that required me to pet a room full of basset hounds all day long."

"Why did the train sound effect album get derailed? The tracks were unfinished."

"I'd get my mind out of the gutter, but I think it's wrong to remove an animal from its natural habitat."

"My Girlfriend broke up with me because I don't last long in bed... I told her if she ever changes her mind, all she has to do is phone and I'll come straight away."

"I'm in a room with Trump, Hillary and a gun and I'm allowed to legally shoot one of them. Whoever lives becomes president. Who do I shoot? Myself."

"The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday. very nice, but i think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch!"

"what did lowes say when home depot kickcked him in the crotch ouch menards (my nards). lolz"

"My brother thought it'd be hilarious to replace all my Adderall with Viagra... which explains how I've been studying so hard."

"How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: ""I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"" Trainer replies: ""Use the ATM"""