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Joke of the Day

"What's wrong with the phrase ""War on Drugs""? Wars end."

"Have you heard the joke about Oprah's new line at Starbucks? It's a warm, comforting, medium-dark roast."

"[at a funeral] *approaches the weeping widow and embraces her* *whispers* ""So you're single now, right?"

"What did Wonder Woman tell The Flash when he saw that he was greying? ""I still find you dashing"""

"What do 9/10 people love? Gangrape."

"There's three things you should know about me, I'm Canadian, I watch Hockey, and... I'm sorry."

"I smelled alcohol and got all excited then realized it was only hand sanitizer."

"Trainer: What's the most intense part of your work out? Me: Getting into my sports bra."

"I had a dream That the most beautiful plate of salmon with lemon zest and crusted parmesan was in front and before I could dig in I woke and saw it was my wife's leg spread open."

"Why was the rooster angry? He just found his chicken strips. (Courtesy of my creative bartender pal)"