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Joke of the Day

"I was going through a few magazines at a Pride parade the other day I was really enjoying it, but then the weapon jammed."

"Why couldn't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pterodactyl is extinct."

"accidentally just walked halfway into a hug intended for someone else on the sidewalk maybe can't leave house ever again"

"Why is flour retarded? Because it's in-bread."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care now and I probably won't care later."

"Does anyone get the urge to tweet something really bad just to see if the government is really paying attention to you?"

"What'll happen if a piano is dropped on a man? He will B flat"

"Why did the condom leave so quickly? Because it got pissed off."

"Looks like balls = Scrotesque."

"NSFW: I just realized that I've never been with a black or middle eastern girl... So I added them to my fuckit list."