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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather told me that during the war he was exposed to irritants like pepper spray and mustard gas. Now he's a seasoned vet."

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"If Bernie hates the 1%... why is it that only they vote for him?"
"How do you prepare corn like Sean Connery? Shuck it long, and shuck it hard."
"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last very long for fat people"
"Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest."
"What do you call a racist cereal? Special KKK"
"Just saw two homeless people hitting each other with cardboard.... Pillow fight?"
"What's the greatest trick the Austrians ever pulled off? It was to convince the world that Mozart was Austrian and that Hitler in fact was German."
"What does D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexic Association."
"What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.... Zing!!"