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Joke of the Day

"I just got done watching the Lego Movie with my daughter. The premise is so amazing... It makes me wonder why the Mega Blocks movie fell apart."

"Aww, c'mon! Let me crack your baby's knuckles."

"Xperia M2 dual my sony xperia m2, hanging so much after updating this new year, even when using facebook and making a call, any one faced this problem"

"Call out to CAN_ZIGZAG: what do they call it when a mechanic frees up a stuck gearshift? Manumission"

"I wonder what it's like to have sex in zero gravity... Or even in regular gravity."

"I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen"

"I tried cocaine once It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"A Load of Old Rubbish by Stefan Nonsense"

"When someone says ""women like you"" to me, I assume they're referring to extremely powerful wizards."

"Haven't refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed."