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Joke of the Day

"I married a French girl and had three sons We named our first son Antoine. We named our second son Anteux. We named our third son Antthree."

"I hate my new Haircut!! ... But it'll grow on me =D Do you get it?"

"Romantic Remembrance by Valentine Card"

"I saw a Russian eating a potato.. I said ""Whoa! too soon"". RIP M. Hedberg"

"Do you know how to make Notre Dame style eggs? You put them in a bowl way too big for it...and then beat repeatedly for 3 hours"

"My 3yo's bedtime stories include: ""Three-Hour Run-On Sentence,"" followed by, ""Ask For a Drink 500 Times,"" and finally, ""You Skipped a Page."""

"I was just reading about the Volkswagen fiasco recently, and something puzzled me. It's not like Germans to get gas emissions wrong."

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? TWO worms in your apple!"

"Friend: OMG did u see the thing on the news about the sinister clowns? Me: *flashback to me watching the debate* yeah I think I saw that"

"angel: they seem to be doing well God: give them more diseases angel: is that really necess- God: and social anxiety and kill a gorilla"