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Joke of the Day

"Friend: OMG did u see the thing on the news about the sinister clowns? Me: *flashback to me watching the debate* yeah I think I saw that"

"I bought some shoes from my pill dealer on Friday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all weekend."

"Never date a girl with lots of baggage They'll travel too much, you will never get to see them."

"When I'm drinking don't worry about taking my car keys. Just hide my phone."

"What do you call a smart gay chemist? A homogeneous"

"I know a great knock knock joke Go ahead, you start."

"How do you start a rave in Africa? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling."

"If I ever have two sons, I'll name one Penn and the other Sword, then make them wrestle a lot just to see if it's true."

"I like dig bick. you that read wrong. you read that wrong too."

"""What doesn't kill you makes you smaller!"" -ask Super Mario"