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Joke of the Day

"Why was the marsupial wrongly convicted? He was tried in a kangaroo court."

"I sleep with my clothes on and one eye open. Not because I'm scared, but my zipper is broken and I've had too much botox on one side."

"What do you call a Reddit Psychic? A 4chan teller"

"My last days. If I ever end up on life support unplug me. Then plug me back in again and see if that works. REBOOT me baby!"

"[god on LSD creating Donald Trump What if a car alarm that constantly goes off for no reason were a person?"

"How do you organize a Space Party? You Planet!"

"The free sample lady just asked if I'd like to try some slow roasted pork loin and then did a hip thrust at me."

"Do you know the difference between erotic and perverted? An erotic person will use a feather on their partner. A perverted person uses the whole chicken."

"72 What is 72? 69 with 3 people watching!"

"High schools shouldn't have school zones. If you can't cross the street by the time you're in HS you deserve to get hit."