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Joke of the Day

"Things I've learned on Twitter: 1. A Twitter Crush is not a soft drink 2. Naps rule 3. Pants are optional 4. Everybody hates Nickelback"

"Fool me once... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thirty five thousand six hundred times, shame on the weatherman."

"The letter Q is an O smoking a cig and is therefore extremely cool"

"I just found out today that they don't have television in Afghanistan... probably because of the Tele-ban...^Taliban, ^get ^it?"

"What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe? Mitosis!"

"I wanted to go to Neptune But Uranus is in the way."

"I bought ones of those cds that teach you Spanish in your sleep. Sometime in the night it started skipping, now I can only stutter in Spanish."

"A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded.nWhat in the hell do they put in butterflys?"

"So a guy named Steve asked how well he did during making an Apple product. ""You did good Job!"" Sad the person he asked."

"I was pulled over by a female officer today When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer? She said ""ugh nothing!"""