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Joke of the Day

"Someone at my work stole my microsoft office bundle. I'm going to hunt him down and take it back. You have my word!"

Next Joke
 
"I got hit by a rental car today. It Hertz."
"Rocks think evolution is bullshit."
"If I knew you in high school and your Facebook profile picture is a baby I'll assume you're Benjamin Button and unfriend you."
"I think my first girlfriend broke up with me because anytime she called me crying I'd say, ""What's the matter? You sound really fat."""
"I don't have sex with my sister because it's unacceptable and gross. I have sex with her because it's kinky."
"A proud German from Frankfurt was so pissed off when he traveled to England and people called him a Frankfurter ... ... he moved to Hamburg."
"What fruit had to have an announced wedding at home? Cantaloupe"
"Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas? ...because they're still alive."
"Why did the cookie visit the doctor? He was feeling a little crummy."