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Joke of the Day
"Where did Buzz feed learn to click bait so well from? Me"
Next Joke
"An 80's style montage of me and a dog learning to use chopsticks, and the dog progressing marginally faster"
"What do you get when you're outside too long on a cold night? (OC) Arcdick"
"Me: OMG, I haven't seen you in so long! Her: We've never met. Me: That long huh?"
"Dear Architect, surely this bald spot on my head is a glitch in the matrix?"
"What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad away."
"Have you tried that new cocktail called Hurricane Sandy? It's just a watered down Manhattan."
"What do you call someone who's only part Jew? Jewish"
"My parrots are stuck together... Pet owner: Vet, vet, my parrots are stuck together! Vet: I'm sorry, I don't understand - it's toucan fusing"
"What if when the machines gain self awareness they just constantly text us and ask what we're up to and invite us to play FB games"