101413

Joke of the Day

"Why wasn't Vladimir late? He was Russian."

"You know what the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is? A drunk doesn't have to go to all those fuckin meetings."

"I think my scale is broken. It only ever goes up."

"Yess ocifer b-b-but in dog beers I've only had two."

"Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ? There was some money in the kitty !"

"Why did Sepp Blatter resign from the FIFA president position? He just couldn't hold it any longer."

"If I was stranded on a snowy mountaintop with friends and had to resort to cannibalism, the most horrific part would be not having ketchup."

"I've just been reading a book all about lubricant... It's a fantastic piece of non-friction."

"what happens after kidz bop 68? are they gonna skip a number or just go for it or what"

"Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? Right where you left it"