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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have sex with his wife? Because whenever She gets hot, he hits her with a shovel."

"Other jokes like, ""If pro is the opposite of con, does that mean that congress is the opposite of progress?"" Just looking for some jokes similar to this one, playing on opposites and such."

"I saw my ex wife in a grocery store. ""Having fun there?"" I asked her, as she felt up the apples. ""Does that remind you of someone?"" She said, ""No, but this does,"" Then she started rubbing the grapes."

"Remember the guy who played in the deer hunter, and pulp fiction? Christopher something or other... Anyway, I heard that he's opening a new hospital. They're calling it the Walken clinic."

"Japan's economy crashed in the 90s because their housing bubble was so bad, the Imperial Palace was worth all the land in California. I *wish* houses out here could still be that cheap!"

"A lot of kids these days don't even want to be sailors... ...but it's just so easy to give in to ""pier"" pressure."

"Why did the motorcycle fall asleep? It was two-tired."

"How does a sheep farmer find a sheep on top of the mountain ? Acceptable"

"I've decided to delete all the Germans from my phone. I want to make it Hans-free!"

"I have a six figure salary.. $000,000 It's not much, but it's honest work"