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Joke of the Day

"I was listening to the comedy station today and Bill Cosby came on. I fell asleep shortly thereafter."

"Why did the Australian pirate refuse lunch? Because he had Somalia."

"What did the reindeer wear to protect itself while Santa was watering the garden? Rudolph's red hose rain gear..."

"How Long is a China-man? I always thought he was Korean."

"Teacher : Why are you the only child in the classroom today ? Pupil : Because I was the only one who didn't have school dinners yesterday !"

"What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they'll always come back."

"What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common? Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house."

"Steam Greenlight"

"A recent study shows that masturbating twice weekly increases life expectancy by 20%. I've done the maths. I am immortal."

"No, autocorrect, I'm not ""pooping"" popcorn. Not now anyway. Later, yes, but I don't plan to text about it."