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Joke of the Day

"What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe? A long necked toothbrush."

"What is the worst part about being socially anxious and trying to tell a joke to a group of people? You'll probably punch up the fuck line."

"Why are there so many grammar Nazis on the internet? Because English majors have no jobs."

"Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down the well? She screamed her fingers to the bone."

"I'm just a girl sitting here wondering which outfit I own goes best with bad decisions..."

"Here's my Bruce Jenner joke I made a joke"

"That awkward moment when the Priest uses YOUR confession as the theme for his sermon. Again."

"If I were the Town Mayor, I would rename our bridge ""The Influence."" ... Then I would direct the police to pull over and ticket everyone driving under The Influence."

"Where can you find the best joke book in the world? The Seattle Seahawks play book. Edit: sorry for the typo."

"Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. -Tim Vine"