6953

Joke of the Day

"I'm Indian but not ""able to read sanskrit"" Indian so slow down there Raj, aside from the heart eye emojis I have no idea wtf your DM means."

"choose one to drop: 1. acid 2. bass 3. out of college 4. the assault charges 5. that thun thun thun"

"Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor"

"Why can't you have a party on the moon? There's just no atmosphere"

"No, I don't want to hang out at your house. Your pot to snacks ratio is all off."

"Japan's First VR Porn Festival Canceled Prematurely Because of Overcrowding Basically, a bukkake that ended early because everybody came."

"What do you say to a Jewish New Zealander? Hee brew"

"Standing in disbelief at an automated door that isn't opening for me is the closest I'll ever feel to having been born rich."

"Sometimes I like to spend my Sunday afternoon being screamed at by a 5 year old for eating the sandwiches I made for her imaginary friend."

"First Michael Jackson, and now Neil Armstrong.... The world is running out of moonwalkers"