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Joke of the Day

"I like how babies always look drunk. Even after only one beer."

"I went to the doctors with hearing problems He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""

"Super joke! Leaps over your head in a single bound! Which is impressive, considering it's always in the clouds..."

"Saw two elementary students get in a fistfight so as an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance"

"Clones. Clones are people two."

"You'll never get hemorrhoids... because you're a perfect asshole."

"I wish I had the balls to be a juggler."

"Anyone who doesn't believe sentient A.I. will be the death of humanity has never been asked by Waze to make an unprotected left turn."

"Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher!"

"[Gets a Netflix notification on phone] FRIEND: Is that your ex? ME: [Lying] No."