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Joke of the Day

"Anyone who doesn't believe sentient A.I. will be the death of humanity has never been asked by Waze to make an unprotected left turn."

"Thank goodness for loyalty program emails. I keep forgetting what brands I'm loyal to."

"Why doesn't anyone let Trump go fishing with them anymore? He always takes the bait..."

"What's the difference between the average person and a feminist? About 200 pounds."

"Mall walkers: never has anyone taken so seriously something that's so seriously ridiculous."

"Please stop saying Donald Trump is mean He can't even make an average president"

"Went by the house where I grew up. Asked to go in to look around, but they said no and shut the door in my face. My parents can be so rude."

"I was watching a hulu video and an ad came up saying ""This episode was brought to you by the invisible children."" Now I know how the internet works."

"Me: it's annoying sitting so close to the office copier Dan from the next cubicle: it's annoying sitting so close to the office copier"

"What is a pair of sheep's favorite instrument? Two-Baaas."