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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a white supremacist who fights aliens at night? A white power ranger"
Next Joke
"What is the inner temperature of a Tauntaun? Luke warm."
"[my hot coworker Brenda & I at gates of Hell] BRENDA: we finally closed the gate, what should we seal it with? ME: a kiss? B: don't do that"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alpaca ! Alpaca who ? Alpaca picnic lunch !"
"Not now, inspirational quotes on my cough drop wrapper."
"Yo mama so fat... You have to yell OMNIKIN before you kick her."
"*sees couple holding hands* *violently breaks them apart* ""Go. You're free now."""
"Girl at engineering school: I'm like the single-most clumsy person [5 male engineering students emerge from bushes] ""Did you say single?"""
"Cop: ""You been drinkin?"" Me: I'm going to dinner w/my wife's mom & 94yo granny ""You're free to go.."" Come on dude. Can't you just arrest me?"
"Why exactly did the teenage mutant ninja turtles need to wear masks? That shit doesn't fucking add up."