41398

Joke of the Day

"Not now, inspirational quotes on my cough drop wrapper."

"Did you hear that einstein made a theory about space It's about time too"

"She's so wrinkled, her mother was a Shar Pei."

"My anti bacterial hand wash promises to kill germs & moisturise at the same time. Such violence & nurturing from the one product."

"[First day at New Job] New Boss: When in Rome do as the Romans you know? <Slaughters entire office and imposes grain taxes on peasantry>"

"Once I was Walking And I kept Walking :p That's all how are doing today ? What' time is it at your house ? Are you married ?"

"I'm so sick of all these unfunny dad joke reposts. ""Hi, So Sick of All These Unfunny Dad Joke Reposts. I'm Dad!"""

"My girlfriend threw a bottle of Omega 3 capsules at me. It's OK though, I only have super fish oil injuries."

"Thanks Autocorrect, I did want to bang her braids out."

"Back in my day, we didn't have iPads. If we wanted to act elitist, we stuck the collars of our Polos straight up."