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Joke of the Day

"[First day of prison] ""Hey man. Wanna be in our gang?"" Sure, I'll call you. Just give me your cell number *gets stabbed*"

"What do you call a crow who repairs time pieces? A bird watcher."

"What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? Helllooooo ladies!"

"what is the hardest part of being a pedophile? I dunno, probably making friends and fitting in"

"My one and only joke. Two olives are sitting at a bar, one falls off and the other one says ""Ahhh are you ok?"" And the one that fell is like ""Yeah, olive."""

"Which honorary degree is to be awarded to someone who has made contributions to PHP ? Ph.P."

"""Your evolutionary biology thesis is rejected."" Why? ""You added (lmao) every time you mentioned Homo Erectus."""

"In case you wondered, Fathers Day is to thank Dad for nailing your mother. Mothers Day is to thank Mom for not swallowing you"

"She's so stupid she thinks a shoplifter is a very strong person who goes round picking up shops."

"I ran over some flowers when I was mowing today Whoopsy-daisy!"