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Joke of the Day

"Yeah sex is great, but have you ever rubbed your eyes for a really long time? O. M. G."

"My gay friend got fired from the sperm bank. They caught him drinking on the job."

"If I had a nickel for every racist thing I've said... I would be able to buy a Nigger"

"How to create a weight-loss program: (1) Take a before picture. (2) Eat like a pig. (3) Take an after picture. (4) Switch the pictures."

"Why was the Mexican bad at archery? He didn't habanero"

"""I have no advice. I can't talk! I am a building."" -Prison advice"

"What sentence did the man who took 2 minutes to turn around get? Man*slowturn*."

"Half-Life 3's release date."

"what do you call a racist tampon? twatstika."

"Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play!"