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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on."

"But seriously- how do Superheroes even go to the bathroom? I mean, look at their costumes."

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def leppard"

"If anything I post offends you, please, please bring it to my attention so I can delete you off my friends list."

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable? ...the wheelchair"

"Did you hear about that baby boy that was born with no eyelids? The doctors actually used his foreskin from circumcision to construct his eyelids. He's OK, but just a little cock-eyed."

"I'm so hungry that I can eat a Centaur"

"An Irishman walks into a bar.... And then another Irishman walks into the bar. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one."

"What do you call it when my girlfriend kills 250 million unborn children A Swallocaust. I'm not proud of myself."

"Has your mom ever caught you masturbating in the closet? Great hiding spot, isn't it?"