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Joke of the Day

"Conveniently, the sound from their early Saturday morning lawn mowers covers the noise of my sniper rifle."

"If you screwed up something in a science lab, who do you tell? **Not** Neil deGrasse cause he will grass on you!"

"Sometimes blank stare is the correct answer."

"We could save a lot of hassle if we just made macaroni out of cheese in the first place."

"What kind of ice cream runs for president? neapolititian"

"What do you call a Syrian refugee on the Mediterranean? Bob What does a Syrian refugee call their pet? Dinner What's grosser than gross? Two Syrian refugees fighting over a tampon."

"Ah, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you know you have boobs, go get checked. You too ladies."

"How do you know your at a gay bbq? Hotdogs taste like shit"

"My friend asked me why I haven't texted him in such a long while, I replied, ""My phone screen broke and now it's completely unusable... so I lost touch."""

"All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face."