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Joke of the Day

"Hey, do you like analogies? I got plenty! I got analogy to rabbits, analogy to grass, analogy to mold..."

"My girlfriend let me try anal with her. It made my whole day! But it made her hole weak."

"What did the asshole doorman say to the dick patron? You aint slick enough to slip right in!"

"Sorry I didn't text you back, but my body is like 70% water and I really didn't want to mess up my phone."

"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."

"Some of you have had some fabulous public meltdowns this year. From all of us, thank you x"

"History Welcome to the the 21st century Where deleting history has become more important than making it."

"Programmed Siri to respond to any request with ""That's what she said."""

"What television show best describes a mothers virginity? Lost"

"When you want to stop the blacks from hanging around your store so much... cut them down."