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Joke of the Day

"My daughter just finished watching Frozen so, counting today that's 12,521,865,635,869 times since Tuesday"

"I adopted a rock. He just sits there and does nothing all day. It still beats raising Kylo."

"What do you call a Mexican lady with no legs? (NSFWish) Cuntswaylow"

"My wife is leaving me I was having sex with her twin when she came in. I tried telling her I was doing it because thought it was her. She didn't buy it. It didn't help that his dick was in my ass."

"What happened to the indian who drank too much tea? He drowned in his tea-pee."

"I can almost always tell when a movie doesn't use real zombies."

"How do you blind fold an asian? You put floss over their eyes!"

"I'm not saying all my friends are Pot Heads But we did have a 2 hour discussion on how Sponge Bob Grills underwater"

"if u pressed the right numbers on yr phone u could be talking to dwayne the rock johnson in 20 seconds"

"Why don't you see Santa for the rest of the year? Because for the rest of the year he's in prison for breaking into people's houses."