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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you see Santa for the rest of the year? Because for the rest of the year he's in prison for breaking into people's houses."

"Necrophilia joke How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac? He's always HARD at work."

"I think my glasses make me look ugly... and so do my contacts"

"You cannot taste me, until you undress me. Banana"

"I saw Tom Hanks today so I asked him for his autograph. He just wrote Thanks."

"My Social Life 404"

"Did you hear about the gingerbread man gynaecologist? The only tool it used was a flapjack."

"My washer and dryer are doing this weird thing where they've started shrinking my clothes and adding stubborn fat around my midsection"

"I needed a password at least eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs..."

"I realized I was maybe not the best listener when a friend had to come out to me twice."