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Joke of the Day
"""Aw shit, my blackberry photos got hacked"" ... ...said nobody ever"
Next Joke
"You had a flat tire on the highway? What was that like? [cut to: me crying helplessly until AAA arrives] Your survival instincts take over"
"If you're pissed off about a non-white Santa Claus then I've got some very bad news for you about Jesus."
"Worst things the parents do on Home Alone: 3. Never punish Buzz 2. Forget one of their kids 1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza"
"My friend's name is Iceewe Neer He sounds like a dick but once you get to know him he's actually pretty chill."
"I just saw two blind and deaf lesbians walking down the street with their hands down one anothers knickers.....I think they were lip reading?"
"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, there's no need for a lightbulb with a glass ceiling."
"Jenna Jameson to Oprah, ""There's a little bit of Jenna Jameson in everyone."" I'm pretty sure she got that backwards."
"If you ever want to catch a white person, just set a table outside a restaurant in the summertime."
"*walk up to woman breastfeeding baby* Is this guy bothering you?"