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Joke of the Day

"If you had bad legs, why wouldn't you want to be a college professor? Because you never sitty down!"

"Apparently the Royal Family is running out of money. They're down to just 26.5 million ...Which is what happens when nobody in your family has had a job for the last thousand years."

"Why were the proctologist's emails so hard to read? Too many colons."

"What did one steak say to another? Nice to meat you"

"I really suck at school, the only time I got an A+ is at the blood test."

"How did Helen Keller discover masturbation? Trying to read her own lips."

"What was John Locke's favorite beer? Natty Rights"

"Why did Obama take all the pens when he left the White House? Because trumps bringing his own pence."

"Did you hear the one about the gang that's throwing eggs at people and kicking their asses? No Yolks but that enough about the Beaters"

"Son, i don't think you are cut out to be a mime. Son: Was it something I said?"