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Joke of the Day

"The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behavior"

"My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission. I guess I'll deal with him later."

"I bet Columbus was super pissed when he rolled up in the Santa Maria only to find Dora had already explored America."

"Three politicians go to heaven. No, seriously, it could happen."

"What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn ""o"" into an ""O""."

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? The hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"How to you make a Hormone? You kick her in the groin."

"89% of being a parent is telling my kids to put on shoes before we leave the house and then getting in the car wearing my slippers."

"Three blondes walk into a bar You would think at least one of them would have seen it."

"Thank goodness for wide, paved road shoulders that important people like me are entitled to use during traffic jams."