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Joke of the Day

"Holy crap! I forgot to have coffee today! What else did I forget? WHERE IS MY BABY?!? Wait, do I have one of those? DO I HAVE A BABY?!?"

"Why did the mummy stop using the Internet? He was getting far too wrapped up in it."

"I am friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y."

"My neighbor gave my kid a whistle today. He is survived by his wife Linda. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to my bail money fund."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve"

"What do you get when you cross sriracha, Little Caesars, and a donkey? A hot pizza ass! Like... like a hot... piece of... you get it."

"the scientific term for a group of cats gathered together in the wild is ""assholes"""

"I just made the greatest construction-related pun of all time Works on so many levels"

"What did the Spanish musician say when he went fishing? Castanets!"

"I hear Donald Trump wants every welfare recipient to take a drug test... I don't even what to know what he's planning to do with all those urine samples."