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Joke of the Day

"You're so ugly that when you went to turn on your car stereo it overheated, fizzled, died out and started playing Who Let The Dogs Out"

"I've just written a song about tortillas - actually, it's more of a rap."

"The Zen Master ordered a hotdog and said..... I want one with everything"

"Have you ever been on the Nile River? I heard it does on for miles and niles and niles... If you don't believe me, you may be in denial."

"What is the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak"

"Why did Princess Leia take so long to find her hair brush? She kept looking for it in Alderaan places."

"What did the snot say to the nose? I gotta run."

"What's the definition of eternity? Four blondes waiting at a four way stop."

"I like to sneak a donut into the salad bar so everyone will ask, ""WAIT, THERE'S DONUTS?"" and I say, ""Sorry, last one!"" and then eat it."

"When I said I respect our boys in blue I meant the blue man group"