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Joke of the Day

"i bet when Kid Rock invented rap, people were like ""No! This is nonsense!"" but he (in typical Kid fashion) was like ""F*ck you're rules! """

"A Chemist with a broken arm fell in some lava His splint went up in flames"

"A psychic midget broke out of prison... He was a small medium at large."

"""Women don't like me, idk why?"" ""Maybe it's because they sense you're a psycho who will decapitate their cat?"" ""No, that can't be it."""

"Why can Saint Nicolas never be prosecuted? Because of the Santa Clause"

"A guy on the street just said ""nice feet"" to me can someone tell me seriously if that was a cat call?"

"Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, ""Is it hot in here or is it just me?"" The other one looks at him and replies, ""HOLY SHIT, A TAKING MUFFIN!!"""

"Do the right thing. Not right away, but like after you get called out."

"*knock knock* ""Who's there?"" ""Dishes"" ""Dishes who?"" ""Dishes a very bad joke"" ...Credits to Sans..."

"I would give anything to get my ex-wife back . But shes already got the house, the car and the kids"