204819

Joke of the Day

"""Women don't like me, idk why?"" ""Maybe it's because they sense you're a psycho who will decapitate their cat?"" ""No, that can't be it."""

"The baby's trying to eat the poinsettia again Well, maybe we should get rid of it The plant? But we just got it . . .Haha yeah, the plant"

"What did baby corn say to mumma corn? Where's popcorn?"

"Be honest, do you think I could pull off tax evasion, or is it only cool when rich people do it?"

"Did you hear about the 80 pound midget with 40 pound balls? They say he was half nuts."

"""For a really awkward time, call me."" -me, leaving my number on bathroom stalls."

"What does a 72 year old snatch taste like? Depends..."

"Did you know LSD can make you lose weight? Because you can't get to the fridge if there's a dragon guarding it."

"What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint? Shake N' Bake."

"The richest black man in NYC has got to be Duane Reade."