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Joke of the Day

"if i could rearrange the alphabet i'd put ""u"" at the beginning and ""i"" at the end. i want a divorce karen"

"What do you call a magic door? Dumbledoor!"

"I put on my pants just like you, reluctantly, when the doorbell rings."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can finish a race..."

"What would a world without women feel like? A pain in the arse."

"My buddy purchased a book called ""Double Your Dating"" So I asked him if he could multiply 0 X 2."

"Me: *sneaks out of the house* *drives to another state* *hides in a cave* *quietly opens a bag of chips* My kids: Can we have some?"

"What band's fanbase is the most charitable? U2, they're all pro-bono."

"Pretty cool how money could literally solve all my problems."

"I can see your camouflage pants, so they're not working."