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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? For one you get tweetment and the other you get oinkment..."

"Ask a friend this: ""Hey, you ever blow Bubbles?"" ""Of course I did."" ""Well, I think he enjoyed it. He's back in town and asking for you."""

"Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?"

"A man goes to a doctor with a large, dirty toad on his head. The doctor asks, ""What seems to be the problem?"" And the toad replies, ""Hey, Doc, there's something stuck to my ass."""

"Have you heard about the joke about immortality... ...It never gets old."

"Who said losing weight was difficult? ""Hello Blood Center? How much longer before I can donate another pint?"""

"Something with high frequency hit me It really hertz"

"Why does Tiger Woods have a bad sex life? He always finishes in the least amount of strokes."

"Me: Strengths? I never vomit when I'm nervous. *vomits* HR guy: Umm...you sure about that? Me: Oh yeah, yeah. I'm just super drunk right now"

"What does a male prostitute say when his phone keeps ringing after he's seen 3 clients in a row? ""FOUR FUCKS ACHE!!"""