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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to a doctor with a large, dirty toad on his head. The doctor asks, ""What seems to be the problem?"" And the toad replies, ""Hey, Doc, there's something stuck to my ass."""

"If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee"

"Received definitive proof I'm going blind AND senile this morning as I just attempted to pinch zoom the newspaper."

"A blind man walks into a bar, And a table. And a chair."

"I approached a photographer and took his picture. He had me arrested.."

"Why did Woodrow Wilson take a long time to turn around? Because he could only make 14 point turns."

"Never underestimate the power of carefully worded nonsense."

"So, this guy comes home to find his house was broken into and someone stole all his lamps. He was delighted."

"I made half a cup of tea the other day... It was so nice I had two."

"I'm very English. I ordered a book off the internet the other day called ""How to have nothing to do with your neighbours"" Unfortunately, I was out when it arrived..."