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Joke of the Day
"My wife was struggling to open the freezer In the end she gave up, and froze to death."
Next Joke
"Two crows are loitering in the park; why did they get arrested? Attempted murder."
"When I call her ""Hun,"" it's not short for honey. It's short for Attila."
"[In line at Starbucks] [Woman behind me talking] I work in an office with 50% men so- [Excitedly turn around] OMG YOU WORK WITH CENTAURS"
"Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't."
"What do you call a cow that's made out of glass? Steer Clear."
"What's the difference... ...between Mick Jagger and an angry Scotsman? One says ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" The other says ""Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe!"""
"""WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING. YOU SUCK."" I yell at the football player in the TV as I'm sitting on a couch having cake"
"How do frogs die? They kermit sucide"
"Unraveling iPod earbuds in less than 10 minutes qualifies you to perform surgery in most 3rd world countries."