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Joke of the Day

"I updated my drivers on my laptop and now I have all kinds of pop ups...thanks Microsoft!"

"Rather than Anti-psychotic drugs, I prefer a more friendlier tone like Pro-sanity pills."

"What did the pirate pirate say on his 80th birthday? ""I can't believe I'm still illegally downloading movies at this age!"""

"Ever hear of a 68? It's like a 69, only you do me and I owe you one."

"I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree."

"You have to give it to pedophiles They're the only ones who follow the speed limit in school zones"

"I'm at my most nurturing when I'm plotting a way to drop my 12 yr old at school 3 days early."

"What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid? Reality"

"Hm, want to use firecrackers but not wake the neighbors. I know, I'll light the firecrackers inside a container! Like this megaphone here!"

"Jaws (2015): ""(cell phone) Hi Coast Guard, yeah a shark is banging my boat oh you're on your way great thanks"""