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Joke of the Day

"I'll call it a ""smart phone"" the day I yell, ""Where's my freaking phone?!"" and it answers, ""I'm here! Under the pile of clothes!"

"Scientist1: You got any Sodium Hypobromite? Scientist2: NaBrO"

"Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested? He was held without charge."

"Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots."

"What do you call Jewish folk that died from agent orange? *german accent* Orange Juice"

"May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning."

"Fruit Blast Once a banana asked the apple,""why do everyone cut and eat you?"" The apple replied,""then why do everybody remove your clothes and eat you???!!!"""

"My car lease is up and I have to return it back to the dealer today, so I'm practicing jumping out of a moving car."

"Did you hear the Pillsbury Doughboy and one of the Cabbage Patch Kids had a baby? It was an ugly little fucker with a yeast infection."

"If Trump wins I'm leaving the country if Clinton wins I'm leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel."