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Joke of the Day

"What did the bra say to the hat? ""I've got these two covered, you go on a head."""

"A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker."

"What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas? ... a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it."

"People who like trance music are very persistent. They don't techno for an answer"

"What do you call the Spanish Government? Juan Republic"

"I'm a virgin but I have sex sometimes"

"Women used to call me ugly until they heard how much money I have Now they call me ugly and poor. (Heard a long time ago, couldn't find source)"

"I used to feel tired and sluggish. nothing could get me out of the house. then i tried MethTM and boy did i burn my house down"

"How boring my life has become! The only time I hear myself say, ""I'm coming"" is when I'm trying to tell my dog I'm getting his food ready!"

"A classics professor goes to a tailor... ... to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: ""Euripides?"" The professor replies: ""Yes. Eumenides?"""