10851

Joke of the Day

"Why did he do that? Who is she? What does that mean? When did that happen? Why? How? I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema"

"My Ex-Wife still misses me BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!"

"""What do you do in your free time? "" ""I stalk. "" ""Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"" ""I know.""."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... Buh-dum-sch."

"Most people don't think I'm as old as I am until they hear me stand up."

"Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Campbell in the chin. He broke every bone in that leg."

"*whispers to businessman sleeping next to me on bus* Sleep tight precious angel"

"[3 days into dieting] *sees ad for burger & fries* *drowns in his own saliva*"

"Customer asked where I lived so I thought the most accurate response was ""the internet."""

"Saw a Mexican lady driving around with a ""Jesus"" bumper sticker. Can't tell if she loves Jesus or is really supportive of her husband."