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Joke of the Day

"The message in a bottle is probably my favorite form of communication that involves throwing garbage in the ocean."

"So a Mexican magician says he could disappear in three seconds. He starts to count....""uno, dos"", and poof, he disappears without a tres."

"What's the definition of ""Trust""? Two cannibals giving each other head"

"Why don't suicide bombers bathe? Because they are preparing a stink bomb"

"sometimes i see a bird & i hate it for no reason. i'm not proud of it but its true. they have tiny heads & even smaller hearts. they hate us"

"A mother walked in to find her son playing with his privates. ""Oh dear..."" ""...those toy soldiers were supposed to be a surprise!"""

"My wife cried when I bought her a car... It was a Saab."

"I remember, before kids, saying funny things like, ""my kids won't be watching TV and they most certainly won't be eating chicken nuggets!"""

"What does Trump say after sex? ""You're the best daughter ever."" (Credit for inspiration to the ""What does Bill say to Hilary after sex"" joke)"

"Why did god invent whiskey? (x-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world"