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Joke of the Day

"I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon - perfect."

"I like my women like I like my coffee No pubic hair"

"Please, person who just said ""libary"", tell me more about what an avid reader you are."

"We act like we're too cool for ""brand loyalty"" but if someone says they *bing'd* something, we beat them to death in the street."

"Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants."

"My office got a shredder, so now I have to buy a turtle costume to fight it on Monday. Work is hard."

"Social Media For Drug Dealers It's called instagram"

"My daughter's school was closed for fog. Back in my day, Godzilla could be destroying the city & the principal would be like ""2-hour delay"""

"[Bethsaida 28 AD] BAKER: Such a huge crowd...I'm gonna sell so many loaves ""Five loaves please"" BAKER: Huh? ""Jesus is here"" BAKER: Sonuva"

"I set my alarm clock 15 minutes fast because I enjoy doing math problems first thing in the morning,"