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Joke of the Day

"One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, ""Samsung has had this feature for years""."

"Fired from my job as an autopsy technician for repeatedly asking ""are you gonna eat that?"" during the procedures."

"I like my women like I like my presidents... Dead and illicit."

"I think ""So do you come here often?"" is a valid pick-up line. I don't want a girl who's drinking 7 martinis everyday."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands!"

"Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.- the place in any American city where you can be sure to find racial tolerance and understanding."

"I thought chiropractors were a waste of money But I stand corrected."

"You've got a face even an Instagram filter couldn't fix."

"Is it just me Or do you find pressing F5 refreshing?"

"A game I bought my Pokemon-Go playing friend caused her to have a brief panic attack. In hindsight, the latest Counter-Strike probably wasn't a good idea..."