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Joke of the Day

"What was Hitler's problem when the lights went out? He could Nazi. Edit: Fuck me, Reddit. I heard you *liked* puns..."

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"Fortune tellers I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?"
"Not now, inspirational quotes on my cough drop wrapper."
"My goal for 2017.... ....is to accomplish the goals of 2016 which I should have done in 2015 because I made a promise in 2014 and planned in 2013"
"Cowboy: GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE. CASHIER: DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG WITH THAT SIR? Cowboy: NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!! http://imgur.com/2TKdb"
"when ever yo mama farts she gets fined by the EPA for polluting."
"I told this guy I was arguing with if he stepped one more step closer I would hit him in the face, but he kept walking right to me. I guess he didn't understand the punchline."
"Top Rated Videos: Dangerous Joke ever.Baby is being Edict.awkward http://streetpranks.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/dangerous-joke-everbaby-is-being.html"
"Going to open a Vietnamese restaurant and name it Viet Nom Nom Nom."
"Somebody needs to tell Tim Burton about the other actors"